Okay so i know no one reads this.
Even those who misleadingly get directed here by dodgy ad's etc. (Don't worry that secret is safe with me)
2018 was the worst even though some part of her claimed it would be the best.
It started for her in hysterics and tears literally on the 1st of jan 18 she sobbed her heart out for what felt like days, weeks, months even years.
Then from there most of its a blur but not a good type of blur... a blur that's like a movie where the main villain landed in a pile of shit and they can't see because its all over their eyes.
Then came the dreaded month October.
Well at least she is pretty sure it was then...
Months prior to this had been the most disgusting.
One girl found out and unravelled too much for her tiny stupid brain to handle about the very people who brought her up.
Months upon months more and more had shown and to her friends they saw it as her putting her boyfriend upon a pedestal and he was the only thing on her mind.
Although that was not the case.
Her brain day in and day out thought of everything all at once.
Pushing her friends away all out of disgust for what if they thought of her differently.
Little did she know they already did.
She tried to see them, on one particular day she did watching them laughing and be carefree (even though deep down she knew that was not the case) she couldn't seem to but on a brave face or even shut up her brain.
She ran and hid excusing her presence not entirely giving them much to blame it on other than her and her boyfriend.
He was also in a struggle at the time this would later on after both suppressing it come back and bite them in the ass... but this is her story not theirs.
Now referring back to October after weeks of her watching social media indeed agreeing with her shitty brain for something it had been saying all along, she was not needed by nobody, there was nowhere she was wanted, nowhere to belong.
Her friends had decided the friendship was not what they wanted anymore, and it would no matter what always be wrong.
The more she slightly pushed, the further they went away.
She was useless, hopeless and now really lonely. The wise girls who said they was family did what was happening to hers the whole year.
There was a whole lot of tears.
Now she tried and tried to get them to see that maybe in the bottom of their hearts they wouldn't leave.
Cue more tears.
Now she is in 2019, seeing them in almost every dream.
Now she is in 2019, writing this very thing.
Yes... obviously, she is me.
And me is as pointless as can be.
Even those who misleadingly get directed here by dodgy ad's etc. (Don't worry that secret is safe with me)
2018 was the worst even though some part of her claimed it would be the best.
It started for her in hysterics and tears literally on the 1st of jan 18 she sobbed her heart out for what felt like days, weeks, months even years.
Then from there most of its a blur but not a good type of blur... a blur that's like a movie where the main villain landed in a pile of shit and they can't see because its all over their eyes.
Then came the dreaded month October.
Well at least she is pretty sure it was then...
Months prior to this had been the most disgusting.
One girl found out and unravelled too much for her tiny stupid brain to handle about the very people who brought her up.
Months upon months more and more had shown and to her friends they saw it as her putting her boyfriend upon a pedestal and he was the only thing on her mind.
Although that was not the case.
Her brain day in and day out thought of everything all at once.
Pushing her friends away all out of disgust for what if they thought of her differently.
Little did she know they already did.
She tried to see them, on one particular day she did watching them laughing and be carefree (even though deep down she knew that was not the case) she couldn't seem to but on a brave face or even shut up her brain.
She ran and hid excusing her presence not entirely giving them much to blame it on other than her and her boyfriend.
He was also in a struggle at the time this would later on after both suppressing it come back and bite them in the ass... but this is her story not theirs.
Now referring back to October after weeks of her watching social media indeed agreeing with her shitty brain for something it had been saying all along, she was not needed by nobody, there was nowhere she was wanted, nowhere to belong.
Her friends had decided the friendship was not what they wanted anymore, and it would no matter what always be wrong.
The more she slightly pushed, the further they went away.
She was useless, hopeless and now really lonely. The wise girls who said they was family did what was happening to hers the whole year.
There was a whole lot of tears.
Now she tried and tried to get them to see that maybe in the bottom of their hearts they wouldn't leave.
Cue more tears.
Now she is in 2019, seeing them in almost every dream.
Now she is in 2019, writing this very thing.
Yes... obviously, she is me.
And me is as pointless as can be.
